Today, as i sit with my candle, i bring my loving awareness to those places of low self-worth, of feeling undeserving and guilty, in me, and to the sadness, the unloved feeling that goes with them, feeling not good enough.
I know loving awareness is enough if i keep bringing it to bear on what i feel and think. Everything dissolves gradually of its own in the presence of Truth. So, it is a matter of remembering to bring awareness to what is occurring and not to believe the lies the thoughts tell or get lost in the feelings.
What is here to be felt needs to be felt and not pushed down or run from, but at the same time not to wallow in the feelings by replaying the stories i tell about them, but to let them flow as energies, weathers that want to move and shift, release and heal.
To be able to lead others to this freedom within, i have to find it myself.
There is a deeper acceptance i need—of all my selves, all my facets, of others, of the world as it is now—a deep embrace and acceptance. From there comes peace and any truly sane, helpful movement. There is still too much i reject in me, don’t like or want, and that creates a split, suffering, inner war, ineffectiveness, confusion.
How about just being exactly as i am, with my sadness, busy mind, confusion, and all the rest? To really embrace the shadows and thus find a greater compassion for—and ease with—self and others.
—Maxima Kahn
